Do You See Us?
Updated: Aug 7
Thursday, May 28, 2020 journal entry
I woke up this morning feeling so heavy. Angry. Tired. Oh so tired. Broken and hurting. I woke up mourning. And it pains me to know that this is the reality. The daily life and experience of so many black families in America. My heart breaks for the families who have senselessly and unjustifiably lost the people they love.
Imagine waking up every day, being thankful for your life. Going on a run as any normal human being would [Ahmaud Arbery RIP]. Going to watch birds at the park because that’s what you like doing and it’s well within your rights [supposedly] [Christian Cooper]. Imagine going to a store and offering a counterfeit note, a mistake you and I could’ve been prone to, and once you leave, the police get called on you. The cashier didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt, and in so doing offers you a death sentence [George Floyd RIP]. Imagine being in your home, eating ice cream on your couch, only for a stranger to walk in and instantaneously sentence you to death [Botham Jean]. Imagine being a young lady, whose life is just beginning to take off, only for the police to walk into your house and shoot you 8 times in the middle of your sleep, right in front of your boyfriend, who by the way gets locked up because he defended himself against an intruder who killed the love of his life [Breonna Taylor].
The stories are countless. And these are only some of many that have happened in the span of 3 months. Imagine what we don’t see. What never gets documented. Imagine waking up every day with a target on your back. Not because you’re a criminal or a bad person. But because you dare to have a different color of skin from the people who constructed the system under which you live.
Imagine being on social media, scrolling with a heavy heart only to see your white “friends” and acquaintances posting puppies and about how they miss the outdoors. Going about their lives unaffected. Normal. Indifferent. It pains. It hurts. But this is the reality of being black in this country.
No matter what you achieve, how hard you work or strive to be a good person. Whether you’re a Harvard graduate, army veteran, football player, EMT, name it, as long as your skin is brown, you’ll always be reduced to just another disposable body. Just another “unnecessarily angry” voice. I’m tired of this garbage.
And by the way, outrage and anger and expression of pain is not the absence of love. No one on earth had more love than Jesus, but He flipped them tables. The struggle of being black in America though is trying to flip the very tables on top of which you’re being slaughtered and sold.
This is not the time to bring up love and forgiveness; a very convenient outcry from many white Christians. What hypocrisy! Telling black people how to feel and what to do. How they should and shouldn’t protest because you’re threatened by truth—which truth has benefited you from the inception of this nation. White people whose Christianity only serves them. Who choose indifference over justice. Who choose comfort over truth. Repost a quote and keep scrolling—life continuing as usual. A striking resemblance between you folk and the priest and Temple assistant in the Good Samaritan story.
I see y’all. I see all the overt and subliminal messages you’re sending. I see you, very outspoken on issues like abortion and other issues where you claim to be promoting the sanctity of human life. And yet, on an issue where already living and breathing lives are endangered and threatened, for existing in black bodies, you’re eerily silent; all I hear is crickets. Suddenly, it’s too political. Can you hear your hypocrisy? Do you understand the outrage? Can you see the message that you’re sending? That black lives are not life enough? That black lives are not worthy? Do you hear it? Do you see it? Do you see us? Some of you are more concerned about the looting of property than you are about the looting of black lives by the police? What privilege!
BLACK LIVES MATTER.
I have so much to say but play your part, man. Do better. Speak up. Start by clicking on the links below.
We are tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of being angry. Tired of being burdened with these heavy feelings and anxiety while the ones who cause and benefit from them sit unbothered, feeling nothing. How tired we are!
Rest in Perfect Peace, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Sean Reed, George Floyd, and the thousands of ones that unfortunately came before you. We are saying your names, thinking of you, and fighting for you.
How you can help:
Sign Petitions. Make Calls. Donate.
Justice for George Floyd
Justice for Ahmaud Arbery
Justice for Breonna Taylor
Justice for Sean Reed
Organizations you can also donate to.